Mastering Modern Intimacy
Master the art of revealing your true self, to deepen your connection to self, others and the Divine.
With Ted Riter
We are all seeking wholeness.
Intimacy is the key. But isn’t just about romance—it’s the thread that binds us to our loved ones, ourselves, the earth, and the Divine. It’s the key to feeling whole and living vibrantly.
Yet, many of us lose touch with this connection. From a young age, we learn to hide parts of ourselves to feel safe or fit in. Over time, these survival strategies create walls—leading to isolation, mistrust, and disconnection from our true essence.
The good news? There’s a way back.
It begins with the courage to be fully seen and to see others in their fullness. By reclaiming the hidden parts of yourself and embracing authenticity, you can repair trust, deepen connection, and create relationships—both with yourself and others—that feel alive, nourishing, and whole.
Whether you’re navigating challenges, longing for deeper connection, or seeking to understand yourself more fully, you don’t have to do it alone.
This is the work of intimacy. Let’s explore it together.
Intimacy isn’t static—it’s a skill, an evolving practice that grows as we do.
Relationships aren’t something we’re born knowing how to do—they’re something we learn. Yet most of us stumble through intimacy without guidance, shaped by unspoken fears, outdated beliefs, and unresolved wounds. I guide individuals and couples through the layers of intimacy, helping them break free from shame, cultivate trust, and build deeper connections. Whether it’s with yourself, your loved ones, or the Divine, intimacy begins with the courage to show up—messy, vulnerable, and real.
Get Started Now:
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Private Coaching
A bespoke private coaching experience for individuals and couples ready to embark on a transformative journey. These 6-12 month offerings will challenge your old beliefs, guide you through blockages, and open up new possibilities for lives built on trust, intimacy, and love.
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The Wisdom Circle
A confidential circle for men who are ready to be supported, challenged, and loved. This 6-month program is set to welcome a 5th cohort in January 2025. Meeting once a month in Redwood City (on the San Francisco Peninsula) and once a month online, we focus on purpose, relationships, and nourishment.
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Surrender in Power
A new program in March 2025, bringing the best of both personalized coaching and group work to 4 high-achieving women who long to be met in their current or future relationship, own their strength in the boardroom and bedroom, and live the life they’ve dreamed of for themselves.
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Mastering Modern Intimacy
Combining online sessions and a 3-day intensive, Modern Intimacy is designed for individuals and couples who are ready to evolve how they relate with their current or future partners. Guided by Ted and his wife Leslie, a new cohort will begin in February 2025.
Breakage. Repair. Transformation.
The intimacy you yearn for doesn’t happen by accident. It’s forged in moments of vulnerability, rupture, and repair with yourself, others and the Divine. Here are the pillars of my work:
The Somatic Experience of Connection
Intimacy begins with an embodied sense of connection—to yourself, others, and the divine. This foundational layer anchors you in safety, belonging, and oneness, allowing for deeper trust and vulnerability.
The Necessity of Fracture
Rupture in intimacy is inevitable—it’s an essential part of growth. Breakage invites us to confront our vulnerabilities, deepen our understanding, and create stronger connections through repair.
Shadow Work: Embracing the Hidden Self
Shadow work invites you to integrate the hidden parts of yourself, turning disowned aspects into gifts. Through curiosity and embodiment, you move closer to wholeness and authenticity in relationships.
Igniting and Receiving Desire
Desire is the lifeblood of intimacy, flowing through our connections with ourselves, others, and the divine. Cultivating mutual desire means embracing the courage to express your yearnings and trusting your worthiness to be desired.
Repair and Healing What Is Broken
Repair is an active, mutual process that restores connection after breakage. By acknowledging ruptures and embracing accountability, we transform pain into deeper trust and renewal.
Self-Love: The Practice of Gentle Acceptance
Self-love is the foundation of all intimacy, rooted in compassion and gentle acceptance. By nurturing yourself and releasing judgment, you create the capacity to give and receive love fully.
Trust as the Foundation of Vulnerability
Trust is an innate quality that can be nurtured and repaired after rupture. Building trust in yourself, others, and the divine fosters the vulnerability necessary for deep, authentic relationships.
Differentiation and Knowing Who You Are
True intimacy requires knowing where you end and others begin. Differentiation strengthens personal identity and boundaries, allowing you to connect authentically without losing yourself.
Imagining New Possibilities for Love and Connection
Future visioning moves beyond healing into the active creation of expansive, awe-inspiring relationships. It challenges limiting beliefs and invites you to dream into new potentials for connection and intimacy.
Intimacy with the Divine
Intimacy with the Divine mirrors our human relationships, offering lessons in trust, vulnerability, and oneness. Through practices like dialogue, repair, and reflection, you cultivate a sacred connection that enriches every aspect of your life.
Unlock Secrets to Modern Intimacy
Get exclusive insights on deepening your connections and new practices for building or rebuilding intimacy.
Whether you want to enhance your relationship with a partner, deepen bonds with family and friends, or cultivate a more intimate connection with yourself, our free email will provide practical tips, reflective exercises, and thought-provoking content.
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“There’s nothing more whole than a broken heart.”
A Modern Approach, Rooted in Timeless Wisdom
While modern insights have reshaped our understanding of intimacy, ancient traditions have long known its power. This work combines both, drawing on spiritual practices, somatic tools, and relational frameworks to help you build a foundation of connection that’s as practical as it is profound.
Hi, I’m Ted
I spent most of my life believing that I had to stay in a certain box to be loved. In order to make that work, I held back some important parts of me and practiced what I now call a “curated intimacy” — being just open and vulnerable enough that people would say “wow” but holding back enough to feel protected and safe.
Unfortunately, it took me until my mid-forties to learn: Whenever we hold back parts of ourselves, it's not real intimacy. It's intimacy-ish or intimacy-adjacent, but it's not real intimacy. If recognized soon enough, intimacy is like a muscle that we can build. If neglected, ignored, or pushed away…it can lead to ripples of pain and distrust for everyone involved.
If the following speaks to you, let’s find a time to chat:
You’ve followed the conventional path, believing that being nice and compliant would lead to fulfillment, but you’re not seeing the desired results.
You excel at performing and appearing vulnerable, knowing how to engage others, yet you still hide parts of yourself out of fear that they might not accept your whole truth.
You struggle with commitment in your relationships because you’re holding back, not fully investing your love and presence.
You find yourself being less than honest, perhaps even deceptive, and feel trapped in a role that doesn’t reflect your true self. When you hold back, you’re not fully engaging in your relationships. And, when you open up more fully, it sometimes gets messy.
You’re unsure how to express genuine joy or break free from the roles you’ve been imposed upon or taken on yourself.
You’ve read the books, gone to the retreats, recited the mantras and prayers, worked with therapists, and sat with medicine, and you still haven’t broken through to a fuller life.
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The Modern Intimacy Experiment
